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A Comedian Walks Into a Taqueria…

Unwrapping this weekend's Comedy and Burrito Festival

Tonight kicks off The San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival, a joint-celebration of two city staples that defies explanation beyond the simple truth that both belly-laughs and bellies full of rice and beans are inarguably worthy of commemoration. This Kickstarter-funded fest has corralled an improbably notable line-up of over 100 performers (including local Marga Gomez and Austin-favorite Brendon Walsh) who will be taking the mic at seven venues around the Mission. Earlier this week, we pulled aside six of those featured comics to talk about their acts — and more importantly, their appetites.

San Francisco: Everyone loves comedy. Everyone love burritos. But aside from being awesome, what do the two really have in common?

Sean Keane: The best versions of standup or burritos will leave you satisfied and exhausted, often with a stomachache. They both go well with beer. There's nothing wrong with a little cheese in either arena, but don't overdo it. Some of the best comedians don't just have a chip on their shoulder, they've got a whole basket. Often comedians are paid in nachos. And the quality of a comedy bit or a burrito often comes down to how well you wrap it up.
Caitlin Gill: What makes comedy and burritos the same is that they are both things we do in the cover of darkness, indulging our desires and demons. What makes them different is that one has sour cream.
Barbara Gray: Also, burritos make people fart. Farts are funny.

SF: If your act was a burrito, what kind of burrito would it be?

Emmett Montgomery: A standard shrimp burrito, but the shrimp are alive and they are interested in how your day has been.
BG: I'm really goofy, but I also like to talk about emotions, so it might be a shrimp burrito, but salted with human tears.
Brandie Posey: If my act was a burrito, it would be a burrito that tastes funny. I guess what I'm saying is my jokes give people food poisoning.

SF: What's your favorite kind of burrito, anyway?

Jesse Elias: I never enjoyed eating them, but I appreciate the art of those counterfeit burritos made by suburban moms. The plain white rice, the ground turkey cooked with a packet of taco seasoning, the unmelted sharp cheddar cheese, a dollop of yogurt if you want.
CG: My favorite kind of burrito is the one I'm eating at the moment.  Every burrito is beautiful.
SK: I like the Super Al Pastor burrito from El Farolito. But I don't get sour cream because I don't appreciate all the posturing. Look, you're just butterfat,"sour" cream. Don't try to front like you're a tough guy. You're making my burrito too gooey.
BP: Here's a haiku of my favorite kind of burrito:

Pastor with cheese, please.
Sour cream, guacamole
Onions? Kill yourself.

 

The San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival starts tonight and runs until Saturday, October 13. Check the complete schedule here. Day passes start at $20; festival pass, $60. Both come with coupons to local taquerias.