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Sex Club Tries to Attract Techies, Local Newspaper Takes the Bait
Scott Lucas | Photo: Courtesy Wikimedia Commons | February 26, 2014
The Chronicle wants you to know that techies like kink, too.
A dozen-year old sex club that throws regular parties? That's not news. A dozen-year old sex club that throws regular parties that include techies—stop the presses. Just ask the Chronicle, which published a long story about Mission Control, a longstanding sex club with over 500 members, some of whom (gasp!) are tech workers.
Let's face it, we're all suckers for stories about San Francisco's new ruling class. Whether it's getting into bar fights over Google Glass, enjoying corporate perks that come straight out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, or sailing barges up the Bay to Stockton—there's no story in the city right now that can't be improved with the addition of a coder, a system administrator, or at least an online ad sales rep. If it hacks, it attracts.
So it's as much an indictment of ourselves as anybody else, but at what point are we going to decide that this stuff isn't actually newsworthy?
Anyway, we digress. What did we actually learn in the piece? Here are some choice moments:
There's no substitute for killer abs: "David, a 31-year-old tech startup founder with a Ph.D. in neuroscience, stood bare-chested by the bar. A young woman smiled at him and whispered something, he said yes, and she popped her head down to lick his abs."
Even the Fungeon has rules: "Walking up the stairs, one could hear the faint sound of slapping. There was a handwritten sign that said "Ask 1st" and then a poster with Fungeon - translation: fun dungeon - "Do's and No's." For example: Do greet the DM (dungeon master). Do keep your sound volume reasonable. Do watch from a respectable distance. No open flame or drawing blood."
Dude who wore a tie to a sex party might be a little confused: "Nicki, a 30-year-old who lives on Nob Hill and just launched his tech company, wore slacks and a tuxedo shirt with a powder-blue tie. He asked Big Red how this whole sex party works, exactly: 'Do I just tap on someone's shoulder?'"
Corrupting the youth isn't just for Socrates any more: "San Francisco State University adjunct instructor Michael Shannon had been the dungeon master a few weeks earlier when some attendees were talking about how they would use consumer electronics cords in sex play. "If you've never tied (someone) up with an ethernet cable, you're not geeky enough."
It's all about keeping the flame alive: "The whole time I've lived here, people have said, 'Oh, the culture has been pushed out of San Francisco.' Since 1999, the same thing," she said. "But this city was built on a pioneering spirit. People came here to go as far as they could go."
Even techie sex dungeons have real estate woes: "For many years, it operated out of a cavernous apartment in the Mission but, after it started the application for 501c7 status and the police came to a particularly rowdy party, Mission Control was evicted in December."
Is any of this really news? Nah. But it makes for good click-bait, does it not?