Subscribe to San Francisco Magazine

Mod Lux Feeds

Now Playing

Someone Who Doesn’t Know Anything About the MLB Playoffs Gets Interviewed About the MLB Playoffs

With the Giants facing off against the Cardinals for the National League pennant, we talk baseball with Deputy Editor Sara Deseran.

Last spring, as The Hunger Games mania was reaching its most feverish apex, we subjected former Research Editor, Tay Wiles, to a simple literacy challenge, exploring just how completely a cosmopolitan journalist can allow a Defining Cultural Moment to pass her by. Now, with the Giants facing off against the Cardinals for the national league pennant, another such moment is upon us: Everyone in San Francisco is talking black and orange. Everyone, that is, except Sara Deseran, Deputy Editor at San Francisco, food writer, and proud know-nothing about all matters baseball. Plumbing the depths of her obliviousness, we asked her a few questions.

SF: Did you catch the game last night [Sunday]?

SD: No. I was driving around yesterday afternoon and saw all these people spilling out of the bars. Someone told me that the game started at 5 pm. I thought the game had already happened, but I guess that was the 49ers?

SF: The Giants faced off against the team from St. Louis. That team is named after an animal. What is it?

SD: The Cardinals.

SF: Correct. Speaking of animals, one of Giants' stars is Pablo Sandoval, who is identified with a famous cartoon animal. What is his name?

SD: He's a panda.

SF: Kung Fu Panda to be precise. Speaking of funny names, outfielder Melky Cabrera got into a bit of trouble this season. Do you know why?

SD: I have no idea.

SF: Here's a hint: "Jose Canseco."

SD: Is that an obscure tequila? [laughing] That hint really doesn't help me.

SF:  Melky was busted for taking performance enhancing drugs. Scandals aside, it's been a very good year for the Giants. In fact, last June, Matt Cain did something no other Giants pitcher has done before. Do you remember what he did?

SD: Oh, you know a "walk out"? A "no-hit." What's it called where the batter can't hit the ball?

SF: A strike out?

SD: No! I mean, yes, but for the whole game! A no-hit game.

SF: Close! He actually pitched a perfect game.

SD: I'm too good at this.

SF: Which film did Giants manager Bruce Bochy show to the team to get them riled up for the 2010 post-season?

SD: Was it a music video?

SF: No, a film. An excerpt from a film.

SD: Chariots of Fire?

SF: Actually, it was Braveheart.

SD: Wow, that's violent. Like they're being incited to cut off peoples' heads?

SF:  I'm going to run some Giants team slogans by you and I'd like you to tell me what they're referring to. First, "Torture."

SD: Torture? Like, they torture Dodgers? Or little people? Because they're Giants?

SF: Okay, how about "Fear the Beard."

SD: I know that one. It's what's-his-face with the big black dyed beard.

SF: Yep, Brian Wilson.  Right now, the Giants are playing the Cardinals in the National League Championship Series. What are the two teams in the American League Championship Series.

SD: Well, I know the A's lost, so probably not them.

SF: The New York Yankees and the Detroit Tigers.

SD: Oh, my friend was talking about watching the Tigers game, but I assumed he was talking about LSU.

SF: You know, the winners of the NLCS and ALCS will go the World Series. So who are you putting your money on?

SD: Maybe I'll go with Cardinals because they're from that city...not Cincinnati...

SF: St. Louis.

SD: Yeah! So maybe the Cardinals and the Yankees.

SF: No love for the Giants?

SD: Oh right, them! Okay, sure. The Giants.

 

Additional questioning by Lani Conway.