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The Cleanse-O-Meter

No longer must you lug out your behemoth juicer (or buy a ticket to a cleansing capital like New York or L.A.) to feel brighter, fresher, and better looking.

San Francisco now has a plethora of shops and websites offering cold-pressed, unpasteurized veggie and fruit juices with convincing names like Fennominal Greens and Brainiac, all delivered straight to your door in chubby glass bottles. If you’re serious about this cleansing thing, though, beware of any joint that also sells smoothies or—far more déclassé—fro-yo. Here, a cleanse for every tolerance level.

SATED

Urban Remedy’s Two-Day Signature Cleanse ($120)
If you must have something to crunch between your teeth, mix up this cleanse with some raw food treats (“treats” being a relative term) from Urban Remedy’s “Nosh” section, including Banana Brittle and—of course—kale chips. 

Living Greens’ Juice Til Dinner ($53)
Designed as a “mini-cleanse for newbies,” this one lets you brag to your friends about your cleanse while still getting to enjoy the best part of the day. It includes some surprisingly palatable elixirs, such as “C Booster,” concocted with carrots, apples, lemons, and ginger. 

 

PECKISH

Can Can Cleanse’s One-Day ($65)
Providing around 1,000 very welcome calories, this single-day cleanse is made up of fruit and veggie juices, herbal teas, and one tasty savory soup (such as celery root–sage) to provide a “quick pick-me-up,” as founder Teresa Piro says. In other words, you’ll glow from self-imposed hunger, but not blindingly so.

Juice Shop’s Pro Cleanse (10-day cleanse, $630)
As the company website states, leave this one to the professionals. It offers a strict selection of aloe and green juices, compounded with everything from sunflower sprouts to dandelion greens—no fruit or fat breaks allowed.

 

STARVING

Thrive Cleanse’s package of 12 three-day cleanses ($1,872)
If you can’t seem to get clean enough, try investing in this year of cleanses delivered in monthly installments, recommended for “health nuts [who] just can’t stop thriving.” Extremists will pooh-pooh the inclusion of fruit juices, but cofounder Megan Propp says, “Our top priority is making it yummy.”

 

Read More:
Are We Glowing Yet?: A Food Writer’s Attempt to Detox Releases Her Inner Smugness

 

Originally published in the January 2013 issue of San Francisco.

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