- Eat & Drink
- News & Features
- City Life
- The Hamptons
- Los Angeles
- New York
- Orange County
- San Diego
- San Francisco
- Washington, D.C.
The Monday-Morning Quarterback: "This Is My Nightmare"
Jeremy Dorn | Photo: Courtesy 49ers | September 23, 2013
In which things go from bad to worse for our resident Niners fan.
The Colin Kaepernick show put on another error-filled, drama-free dress rehearsal at home against the Colts on Sunday. The 49ers let Indianapolis, led by former Stanford star and Harbaugh disciple Andrew Luck, trample right through the defense formerly known as dominant.
This wasn't so much a case of the student (Luck) surpassing the master (Harbaugh); it was more akin to the Karate Kid beating Mr. Miyagi to near death, stealing all his money, and then sleeping with his wife. Twice.
27 points later, and this fan's brain felt like mush. A top-5 offensive line, a great receiver (though Vernon Davis' hamstring injury from last week kept him out of this one, significantly hampering Kaepernick's options), and the franchise's all-time leading rusher couldn’t move the football.
And the best defense in football got smashed with ease. Certified Niner-killer Ahmad Bradshaw ran right through the sleepy front seven all day long. Add to that the unrivaled stupidity of Aldon Smith's weekend joyride, coupled with Davis' hamstring and Patrick Willis' groin, and, now, reports of "choice words" from Frank Gore to coach Jim Harbaugh near the end of the slaughter.
We’ve got no defense, we've got no offense—and with no thanks to Dumb (Kaepernick) and Dumber (Harbaugh), who combined to form the most inept play-calling and executing duo since Mike Singletary and J.T. O’Sullivan.
Okay, that last part may be a bit of an overreaction. Kaepernick is still an unfairly talented player and Harbaugh, though he's been lacking his usual fire over the last couple games, is still the guy who turned around a middling franchise and brought it to the brink of two straight Super Bowls.
Surely, a verbal butt-whipping is in order from Harbaugh this week. And maybe after the team recovers from its injuries, in-fighting, drug and alcohol abuse, and deflated sense of self-worth, it'll stop making a mockery of the sport of football and be ready to take on the St. Louis Rams this Thursday night.
With whom they tied last season. And lost to, shortly thereafter. After Alex Smith was displaced by Kaepernick. The same Alex Smith who is 3-0 in Kansas City right now. This is my nightmare.