BIG SUR: $275 AND UP (and up and up)
THE BIG SPENDER'S BREAKDOWN: Ventana vs. Post Ranch
Unless you've stayed at these two grandes dames of big sur, you probably have only a vague notion of what they are actually like. Anything written about either one tends to be breathlessly littered with words like "spectacular," "paradise," and "quiet luxury." That's lovely, but it's not very helpful. Instead, we give you a gush-free, side-by-side look at where to stay when you decide to blow the big bucks.
Ventana Inn & Spa
Origin: In 1975, Larry Spector took the dough he made off Easy Rider and constructed the ultimate dropout pad.
What keeps them coming back: Paths that meander through bursting gardens to trails into the woods.
Defining Touches: No one has devoted this much real estate to communal bathing since, well, the seventies. In other neo-hippie touches, Enya croons at breakfast every day, and the CD in the room is a classical guitar ode to Led Zeppelin.
The Crowd: Recession-proof fiftysomethings who probably came through Big Sur in the seventies sleeping in their VW bus and smoking pot.
Room to roam: 2 acres per guest
Quirks: Our bellman gives the control panel a Fonz-like smack to make the heater rattle to life. He notices the room is missing its slippers, but that doesn't mean we ever get any. Oh, and when the tub drains, it makes the sound of a dying buffalo.
On the shelf in the library: The Origami Handbook
The rooms: 60 rooms sheathed in unfinished redwood are classically of their era—minus the shag rugs and avocado bathroom fixtures. Many are showing their age, but planned renovations promise to give us the high, fluffy, duvet-covered beds we expect at this price.
Supper-time scene: Cielo is a romantic half-mile walk from the inn, and everyone seems to have a happy memory of eating on the deck here. But the food has fewer hits than misses.
The spa experience: After getting lubed up in an ocean-view massage room, wander down to the clothing-optional pool to let the sun warm your newly kneaded muscles.
The big splurge: Without a doubt, 1 through 4—the newest rooms—are tops, and they're easily twice the size of any room at Post Ranch. While the official rate on these babies is $1,000, they sometimes go for as little as $700.
Deals to be had: Rooms still vacant a couple days out are put on the website at a discount—a $450 room might go for as little as $275. In general, it's easier to work a deal at Ventana than at Post Ranch.
The bottom line: Depending on how you feel about the seventies, you'll either find it classic or awkwardly dated.
Want in?: (800) 628-6500, www.ventanainn.com.
Post Ranch Inn
Origin: In 1992, Mickey Muennig's mega-eco-friendly design won over the tree-hugger contingent, and this became the first resort to be built on the coast in almost two decades.
What keeps them coming back: The biggest eyeful of vast, blue ocean you can imagine.
Defining Touches: Around here, luxury means that in place of TVs, rooms have a real wood-burning fireplace and instead of a golf course, there's a web of nature trails.
The Crowd: Similar, though it embraces more of the thirtysomething banker and celeb set.
Room to roam: 1.6 acres per guest
Quirks: Don't try wandering to the pool in your flip-flops—it's way down in a valley, a hefty hike from the rooms.
On the shelf in the library: What Color Is Your Parachute?
The rooms: Every one of the 30 rooms is exactly the same size, but there's nothing cookie-cutter about them. "Ocean houses" hide under a grassy curve of hillside, while "tree houses" stand tippy-toed on nine-foot stilts, their windows high up in the branches of a redwood grove.
Supper-time scene: All fancy seaside restaurants have a nice view, but Sierra Mar, hanging out over a cliff, has the granddaddy of them all. And the food is even better.
The spa experience: Look up from the massage table through the floor-to-ceiling window to see a massive redwood trunk shooting up toward the sky.
The big splurge: The five $935 ocean houses always go first. Why? Total privacy. Huge picture windows face nothing but ocean.
Deals to be had: November to April, midweek rates for mountain-view rooms are 40 percent off, which puts them at $300 and up. But the coveted ocean-view rooms are full price year-round.
The bottom line: Hands down the first choice for the don't-trouble-me-with-the-bill set.
Want in?: (800) 527-2200, www.postranchinn.com.
BIG SUR: $60-$250
REAL DEALS: There's one for you
Many people have the sneaking suspicion that the only lodging in Big Sur is either dirt cheap (read: camping) or impossibly pricey. But we stuck our heads into every room and every cabin on the coast and found six places where you can get an honest night's sleep.
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