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The Wolf of Wall Street Is Coming to San Francisco

BYO blow.

Not pictured: Leo.

 

So Jordan Belfort, king of quaaludes and hookers, is coming to San Francisco in September to give some kind of motivational speech. At Davies Symphony Hall to be exact. The asking price for tickets starts at a cool $100, and we’re willing to bet that there are more than enough [insert pejorative term for well-paid, young, male professional here] to pay that exorbitant price. (Perhaps ReservationHop will figure out how to scalp tickets even higher.)

It’s all part of a nationwide speaking tour, in which Mr. Belfort will teach all the budding young Belforts of today how to reach a level of success where Leonardo DiCaprio is called upon to play out your life in such an over-the-top fashion as to not win an Oscar. Again.

As sleazy as this guy is, you have to admire his..erm..sleaziness? Because, if nothing else, the [pejoratives] of San Francisco could learn a thing or two about how to be a proper [pejorative]—and to monetize that ass-hattery into a diverse group of income streams.

Seriously, people. Get your head out of that computer, watch the wolf work his magic, and then snort some blow out of a hooker's butt. You gotta want it.

 

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