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5 Sacrilegious Oaths from the Hunky Jesus Contest

Overheard in Dolores Park at the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Easter Celebration.

1. "Everybody say Passover—the rain’s gonna pass!" —Announcer, one of the sisters, to the rain-weary audience. 

2. "All those god damn 'love children' look so cute!" —A woman, 50s, in tie-dye regalia, gesturing to the children gathered for an Easter egg hunt. 

3. "This rain brought to you by Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone." —Announcer to an increasingly dissapearing audience 

 4. "I did enough voodoo that this shit should not have happened."—Heavily made-up clown

 5. "This isn’t rain—it’s an orgy on Mount Olympus. Turn up the torque, wipe it down, videotape!" —An otherwise unremarkable man leaving the festivities

The 34th Easter Sunday in Dolores Park, put on by the dressed-to-resurrect Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (a “leading order of queer nuns”), was cut short this year by on-and-off showers with periods of heavy, biblical flooding that made for runny mascara and wet habits. So, forgoing the customary crowning of a sexy savior, the carnivalesque crowd offered the above blasphemy.


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