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Get Ready: The Twitter Skybridge Is the New Techies-Are-Destroying-SF Metaphor

Oh Lord.

 

It gives us no pleasure to call it, but it's true: The Twitter Skybridge is about to become the next Google Bus. The Mid-Market tech giant is proposing to build a bypass* that would connect its two buildings, one at 1 10th Street and the other at 1355 Market St.

“It’s simple—it would take at least five minutes per employee to go down an elevator, out of one building, into the other, and up the elevator to the right floor,” Twitter said in a statement published in Bloomberg. The skyway would prevent Twitter employees from having to go all the way down to the public street whien moving between the two buildings. It's eminently reasonable—and totally a bad idea.

If you don't see how this could turn into a metaphor, well, we're going to guess this is your first day in San Francisco. Welcome; hope you brought a sweater. For the rest of us, oh boy, here we go again. Just when the Google Bus thing seems to have quieted down and the Airbnb regulations are in place for at least the medium-term future, we have yet another convenient symbol for what critics have called the negative effects of the tech industry on the warp and weft of the city.

Trust us here. We didn't study computer programming in college. We don't know how that stuff works. But we did take plenty of English classes. We know what a metaphor is. This is a symbol that you don't want. The skyway has to go before the Planning Commission for approval, but, please Twitter. Please. Don't do this. Just don't. We like you. We like what you've done with the neighborhood. But this is a town that can barely wrap its head around buildings taller than two stories. It's still the city that isn't sure it wants to be a city. You don't want to do this. It's not worth it. 

Besides, can you imagine having to clean anarchist vomit off a skybridge? 

*An earlier version of this post stated that the skybridge would cross Market Street. That was incorrect.

 

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