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Profoundly Irritating Map Renames San Francisco Streets After Startups

Welcome to Jawbone Street, the main thoroughfare in Airbnb Village.

SLIDESHOW

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In the Mission District, 16th Street becomes Airbnb Street.

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SoMa is home to ModCloth Street, DocuSign Street, and ChaCha Street.

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In what could only be conceived as a gigantic cartographic troll on San Franciscans, datamapping website CartoDB has gone and mapped the city by replacing every last street name with the name of a startup. Welcome to Instacart Street, NerdWallet Street, and—oof—BlendSystems Street. If you zoom out, entire neighborhoods have been renamed, too: Groupontown for the Financial District, Credit Karma Valley for Hayes Valley, and the at least sort of politically apt Change.org Heights for Bernal. CityLab calls the whole deal a "fantastical, nauseating map," which is pretty on the nose. If this map were in any way real, the Warriors will be playing in an arena in Fibrogen Hills (an odd choice not least because Mission Bay is flat), and landscape starchitect James Corner will debut a new landscape not in the Presidio, but in the groan-inducing Audax Health Solutions Hills.

As the Next Web explains, CartoDB mapmaker Sergio Álvarez Leiva pulled startup names from TechCrunch's Crunchbase and awarded the ones with the most funding the largest thoroughfares, factoring in the locations of the companies’ headquarters as well. Thus, 16th Street becomes Airbnb Street, a major roadway not far from the homesharing juggernaut’s Eighth Street office. Dropbox claimed Market Street, and we’re sure the Embarcadero Bushman will be just as effective at jumping out at joggers on the Lyft Embarcadero as he is on the unbranded boulevard.

We haven’t found Uber Street yet, which seems weird, especially since the ride-hailing company recently made headlines for reaching $50 billion in funding faster than Facebook did. Given Lyft’s prominence on the map, that’s got to be some kind of dis, right? And whither Twitter? (If you spot any of these, give us a shout.)

Curiously, Broadway has gone unnamed, leaving the tech moniker for Billionaires Row thoroughly up for grabs. Larry Ellison and Jony Ive might have to duke this one out. 


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