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Ready...set...obsess

A day in the (digital) life of the new Bay Area fashionista.

3:22 a.m. Wake up and fixate on what to pair with that gray Rag & Bone minidress in your Polyvore set. Maybe an Alexander Wang leather clutch?

3:45 a.m. Still awake. Grab iPhone and search for the bag on ShopStyle.

8:15 a.m. Flesh out the virtual layout you created on Polyvore by adding a bottle of Chanel’s Paradoxal, Lagerfeld’s prescribed nail polish for fall. Realize that you’re late for work. Check NextMuni app. Run.

8:45 a.m. Glance at email reminder that Gilt Groupe’s sale starts in 15 minutes.

8:48 a.m. Make silent promise to click only on the Rick Owens sale and to not glance at the six others happening simultaneously.

8:50 a.m. Check bank balance and regret yesterday’s impulse buy: Balenciaga black suede sharkskin wedges that have already been charged to your Visa.

8:55 a.m. Ponder whether the light-speed quickness of digital banking is really an improvement.

9:05 a.m. Click on Gilt.com and hope that the Vera Wang necklace you’ve been lusting after isn’t already “in member’s carts.” Why did the boss have to call at 8:56 to talk about some mindless proposal? Doesn’t she know that 9 a.m. is sacred?

9:20 a.m. Open Ideeli email about today’s Ed Hardy sale. Realize that a rhinestone-encrusted Christian Audigier bag would complete the perfect look for this weekend’s Paris/Nicole/Lindsay mug-shot party.

11:45 a.m. Google AdSense catches on and keeps pushing Ed Hardy purses onto the sidebar of every page. Clear search history. Go to lunch.

3:35 p.m. Gasp! One Kings Lane’s tastemaker sale on Taschen books was at 8 a.m. Realize that Sapien bookshelf is already filled to capacity. Maybe there’s a deal on coffee tables instead…

3:55 p.m. UPS guy arrives with three pack­ages containing last week’s impulse buys. Brace for the inevit­able wave of regret, then run to the bathroom to try everything on.

4:25 p.m. Sigh. Remind yourself that an ample size 0 exists only at Gap. Strategically conceal ill-fitting returns in mailroom.

4:32 p.m. Pray that the accrued credits from the returns will apply toward the Jetsetter sale on the Villas at Poipu Kai in Kauai; if so, extend trip to cousin’s Hawaii wedding into a vacation.

4:37 p.m. Lose interest in afternoon meeting. Scroll through Kaboodle, TheFind, and Splendora’s iPhone app for postseason bikini sales.

6:17 p.m. Muse about the cupcakes you ate from the Kara’s truck parked outside Moxsie last Friday. Shrug. Too bad watching Losing It with Jillian isn’t addressing your problem areas.

8:05 p.m. Facebook-stalk that alt guy with the porkpie hat you met at the Mixtape Society. See that he’ll be at 111 Minna next week. Click on ModCloth.com to find an obviously vintage dress.

11:12 p.m. Hope he hasn’t seen you on the 41. Wonder how long you can pretend to live in the Mission.

11:58 p.m. Click through the boho looks on Couturious. Will alt guy get the Rodarte for MAC scorched-earth eye? Or will he think you’ve been losing sleep over him and are therefore too clingy? Post a photo on Chictopia and wait for responses.

Image courtesy of Taschen